I was going through some stuff from around 4th-6th grade. In grade school, I loved experimenting with the way I wore my clothes. I wanted to take away from the fact that my family couldn’t afford what other kids at my school were wearing. Constantly picked on because I didn’t have the Jordans, the LUGZ the K-Swiss, the DADA Sprees, just Payless’ finest. Yet I loved watching CNN’s fashion coverage before they went to a trash 24 hour doom cycle. Looking at Naomi, Linda and Yasmeen being gorgeous. I adored feminine dress, I was growing in the era of Tom Ford for Gucci, the Golden Years of Versace and Azzedine Alaia. I tried my hand in embellishing (read: stapling or tying) various things inspired by what I saw McQueen and Gaultier doing on the runway. I shredded a pair of jeans trying to turn them into Old Navy Flares before realizing I couldn’t sew. Continue reading “Vintage JoJo, Resort 1997/ Spring-Summer 2004”
TW: passage below contains usage of the N word with the ER Continue reading “Dear Bill Maher,”
I am admitting my defeat at 10:45a.m. This defeat comes on the tail of a night where I caught less than one hour of sleep, however, it wasn’t too bad. I did get to see one of my favorite writers, Junot Diaz, at the University of Chicago last night which was AMAZING. BUT, when I got home my dad was waiting for me and he asked me to take a sip of his coffee. Continue reading “Because Today Is Gonna Suck”
I’ve been gone since Tuesday because of the storms that went through Chicago that night. My town either had a very strong storm, or a weak tornado? I’m not sure, the weather department still hasn’t said. Aside from a leaking roof/window situation in my parents bedroom and a little water in the basement me and my family are okay. Somehow our street was spared the destruction in the surrounding neighborhood and the rest of the town. Continue reading “Safe and Sound”
It’s been awhile hasn’t it? After the holidays, I’ve been in the mode of trying to get back into everyday life. Although,every time I tries to get back in to the habits of writing my blog, the North Pole decided that it was time for me to dig out some more. I’ve shoveled and salted my driveway more than 6 times since New Year’s Day. Continue reading “Okay, break’s over… (A Freewrite)”
Yes, I know Jesus died for our sin and rose on the third day.
Yes, I know that Beyonce (or other artist/celebrity) is not God’s begotten son.
No, I am not going to repent for being overly ecstatic in this moment.
No, I am not going to repent for rejoicing in someone’s talent. Continue reading “ColouredWords: Dear Holy Rollers of Facebook”
…without a dope beat to step to, step to, step to.” -Timbaland
When I last wrote you all, I had just started fall semester at the local community college and celebrated my 22nd birthday that same day. The first 3 weeks were terrifying and exhilarating, this was my first time going to “public school” and it was my first time in the collegiate arena full time after a year off. It was like grade school all over again, lonely as hell. The fact that you’re the new kid really sinks in when you’re eating solo in the corner of the cafeteria, just you and Edith Wharton. Under the scrutiny, of other eyes trying to figure out what I’m about and who my people might be.
The past year has been a year of personal growth. August of last year, I found out I wouldn’t be able to return to my university do to financial aid issues. My father, a retired educator and principal, couldn’t bring himself to look at me anytime the topic of school came up, constantly asking me for forgiveness. This concept still throws me for a loop; why would he ask me to forgive him? He didn’t have to, the love I have for him can’t be set aside for anger or sulkiness to dwell long. I know it’s because he’s sorry he couldn’t provide for his son like he’d initially wanted, but I’m the child, even at 22 years old. I still live under his roof, honestly, he doesn’t have to explain a thing to me. He’s doing a little bit better now that I am back in school.
It’s been difficult at times, living at home and seeing your friends from college make plans for graduation in the winter/spring, applying to graduate schools, and in some cases starting families. It’s like dropping people you love at the airport, telling them goodbye at security, watching them head off to their gate , while you walk back to your car in the parking garage and cry thinking about all the experiences they are going to have.
On the brightside, the last few weeks, however, have opened me up greatly, I’m now a writer/reporter for the school newspaper, which is pretty damn good in its own right. I’m in the school creative writing club, Rogue Writers, it’s been good getting criticism for my writing. Last week, the professor who leads the club called my work from that day, Baldwin-esque. I’m sure she was being nice, but, then again, she’s the English and Literature expert not me.
I’ve been exploring the “Outside World” (Grow up in private, conservative, Protestant education and Baptist home and that’s what it becomes.) and enjoying my time doing so. Talking and listening to people of different backgrounds, nationalities, and faiths (or none at all). Taking in the sights, sounds and smells of not only of big, brash, Chicago, but my literal neck of the woods, the South Suburbs. When I was younger, I took it for granted wanting desperately to pick up and head north into the organized chaos known as city life, but I appreciate the slower pace of these post-war hamlets with their curving, tree-lined lanes; green, open, spaces and temples of mid-century architecture.
I’ve fallen deeper in love with writing, reading and myself, however, not forgetting the difficulty of practicing these three things. These three things are a daily battle that I am becoming better at winning. Although, there are still those days when I open my eyes in the morning and say “Fuck it all” and try to go back to sleep.
Well, I think I’ve procrastinated from these finals papers long enough. Happy Thanksgiving, by the way, I’m grateful for all of you who’ve taken time to read what I put here and consider it worth reading.
With an attitude of gratitude, a wink, and a smile,
This is a belated birthday post, as you can see. I know, the one post that finishes off the series should be on time, however, I started classes yesterday
That morning, my mommy called me all the from Albany to sing Happy Birthday, which she did in front of her colleagues!
I was at school from 9 am to 7 pm, running on 2 hours of sleep, so I was tired.
On the bright side, when I got home I found out my dad made spaghetti, one of my favorite meals, and he even baked me a cake,and garlic texas toast. I was gonna stay up and watch tv with dad but I was so exhausted from the day that I ended up passing out in bed around 10 o’clock last night.
So there you have it, ha ha, all those days of emotional building led up to a somewhat anti-climactic birthday. I honestly really did enjoy doing these posts. I can see why people like doing these. I have some awesome things planned for the future.
Here I am 90 minutes away from crossing into another year of life.
With all its highs and lows I am grateful for the year that I have had and the lessons that have come with it.
Today, I rested. My first full day of classes is tomorrow and I can’t be happier.
See you on the other side,